


this love came back to me

by notmylaw



Series: Barisi One-Shots [2]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: I hate writing sad Sonny, M/M, So Sappy, When Sonny is sad I am sad, im sorry, this is kinda sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-29
Updated: 2016-05-29
Packaged: 2018-07-10 21:01:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7006729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notmylaw/pseuds/notmylaw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sonny's heard all his life, "If you love something let it go, if it loves you back, it will come back."</p>
<p>Rafael lets go.</p>
            </blockquote>





	this love came back to me

**Author's Note:**

> It was raining today and I listened to a sad playlist while writing this.
> 
> I'm sorry

It’s raining.

It’s been pouring down for two days straight. 

Sonny supposes that’s appropriate.

It would be strange, going to a funeral when it’s bright and sunny and warm.

Rafael didn’t like it when it was hot out, that’s what happens when you’re wearing three piece suits most of the time.

He liked rain, he liked how calm the city became.

But now he’s gone.

It was those threats, someone decided to follow through it seems.

No one saw it coming.

Things with Munson died down after Dodds…

Everybody’s leaving.

But there wasn’t as many open threats, the occasional e-mail here and there.

No one saw the bullet coming.

Not the Lieutenant, not Rollins, not Fin.

And certainly not Sonny.

He’s done playing the blame game.

When he first got the call, he couldn’t stop thinking about what would’ve happened if he was there to protect Rafael, if he had done something, taken Rafael out for drinks, keep him from going home.

Keep him from walking into the apartment that had someone with a gun waiting for him.

But Rafael had been acting strange, he was distant, more tired.

He didn’t smile at all that day, he didn’t laugh quietly at Sonny’s terrible jokes.

He didn’t ask Sonny if he wanted to have dinner that night, as he had been doing for awhile.

Sometimes they went out to eat, other times Sonny would make dinner.

And once Rafael made food, and it was one of the best nights Sonny’s had in a long time.

He remembers getting the call, from the Lieutenant.

He remembers dropping his phone, running to Rafael’s apartment, just as the ambulance drove away.

He remembers punching a wall, Liv and Rollins trying to hold him back from hurting himself anymore.

He remembers his sisters and parents holding him as he told them.

Now, the only thing he can do is remember Rafael.

Rollins is driving, out to the cemetery.

There’s not a lot of people.

There was at the visitation.

All of the people Rafael had helped showed up, shook his hand and told him how sorry they were that he’s gone.

Sonny hated it.

They were so many people that showed up, victims whose attackers were in jail because of Rafael.

Now, Rafael isn’t going to help anymore people.

“Carisi, we got a make a quick stop,” Rollins says, and it snaps him out of own thoughts that seem hell bent on torturing him.

“Why?” he asks.

“You’ll see,” is all he gets, but he’s not in the mood to talk to he slouches down farther in his seat.

She pulls into a crappy parking lot of a rundown building, that should’ve been torn down years ago.

“C’mon, get out,” she says, opening her door.

“Amanda, what the hell-”

“Get out of the car, Carisi,” she tells him more firmly, it sounds more like an order.

He stomps out, looking around this deserted place.

She opens a door and waits by it, waits for him.

“Come on, Carisi,” she says, “Get in here.”

“Rollins can you-” he starts but she looks at him in a way that says _I’m not taking no for an answer now get in_.

So he walks into the building, and its wrecked and falling apart.

Rollins keep walking, through another doorway, this one is just missing the door.

He follows, offering no objections because he’s given up at trying to figure out what’s going on.

He walks into this other room, and finds the Lieutenant and…

No.

“Raf?” Sonny wheezes because this is a twisted nightmare he probably fell asleep in the car god knows he’s barely slept at all these past few days.

But no, Rafael is here, looking…

He looks tired too, he’s not wearing a suit. Instead he’s got his more casual clothes on, dark jeans and a dark polo.

“Sonny,” is all Rafael says.

Obviously, these two aren’t going to do much, so the Lieutenant starts explaining.

How the threats were getting more specific, and how this is only temporary, only until the end of the Munson trial give or take then he’ll be back.

Rafael’ll be back.

At some point, Sonny walks forward and all he can do is throw his arms around Rafael and just hold him there.

He breathes him in, hears him whisper things in his ear.

How sorry he is, how much he wanted to tell Sonny-

“Stop,” Sonny says, “You’re here, you’re okay.”

He runs his hands down his arms, making sure that Rafael really is here, and that he really is okay.

The Lieutenant and Rollins had walked out after everything was explained, giving the two some time.

“I’m sorry, Sonny,” Rafael says again.

He’s going to keep apologizing so Sonny kisses him, just to keep him quiet.

Rafael’s hands come up to cradle his face, and Sonny notices they’re shaking.

Rafael’s crying.

“We’re a mess, huh? Two crying guys in a warehouse that’s falling apart?”

Rafael opens his eyes, and whispers, “I love you, Sonny.”

“I love you too, Rafi.”

And Rafael laughs, it’s a beautiful noise, “I think I like ‘Raf’ better than ‘Rafi.’”

Sonny doesn’t answer for a moment, he doesn’t know how he’s going to do this.

“I have to go to this funeral, talk to your mother who thinks you’re dead. What am I gonna do, Raf?” he asks.

Rafael sighs and lays his head on Sonny’s shoulder.

“I don’t know.”

Rafael’s still crying, both of them are still crying.

But for Sonny, these tears aren’t because he lost someone he loves.

He’s crying because he lost someone he loves, but this person came back.

They walk out together, hand in hand.

It’s raining.

**Author's Note:**

> This had a happy ending to make up for the sad start
> 
> I could never write a fic where either Sonny or Raf are permanently dead


End file.
